Archive for the ‘Blogs’ category

Can’t Wait Till You Get Home!

March 8, 2012

Ever wonder what your dog is thinking and doing all day? Being a lazy dog is hard work!

This short video contains one of the secrets to living.

(For all my SOPA, Tree Hugging, save the Soft Back Tick followers, no dogs were harmed in the making of this video and everything is original and belongs to me!)

 

My Dogs Theapist Thinks She’s a Cat!

March 3, 2012

Taylor is a white miniature Schnauzer. My wife says he is normal. We bought him from a seller who was sitting in the Wal-Mart parking lot. So I’m fairly certain he was made in China.

 I would never trade him for a newer model, but he has unresolved issues. He doesn’t like change and is afraid of anything new (typical Baptist). Recently Taylor discovered he is now afraid of walking out the door of our bedroom. For three years he has walk over this same spot without a problem, but now he is paralyzed! He tries to get passed this spot but he can’t do it. Fear is stronger than experience!

  We have carried him over the spot, moved furniture and even cleaned the floor in hopes of trying to figure out what it is holding him hostage. We put a towel down to cover the spot and that seemed to help, but was not the cure all we were hoping for.

  Finally, a breakthrough! Taylor loves beef jerky! Would his love for beef jerky overcome his new found fear? Success! By focusing on the treat in my hand he seemed to forget that he was afraid. Love conquers fear!

   He still has his setbacks, but he is making improvement.  Now we are working on his Sciaphobia (fear of shadows).

The Point: Fear is stronger than experience. I have been serving God for many years and still struggle with fear. You would think after years of experience that fear would not be a problem, but fear is always nearby ready to take control and hold me hostage. 

  The only way to conquer fear is with love, God’s love. Knowing that God loves me and will never leave me gives me the strength to overcome my fears. My love for God helps me focus on Him instead of focusing on my fears.

  If you find yourself being held hostage by fear, let God’s love fill you! May your love for God give you freedom from fear.

 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” I John 4:18

Secrets To Growing Old

March 1, 2012

Here is a list of things you need to know as you grow older. These secrets are not commonly known or shared, but they are important if you wish to successfully navigate life as you grow older.

1. You need to buy a rain gauge!  

  Nothing is more frustrating than not knowing how much rain you received at your house. When old men talk about the weather, we like to brag about the amount of rain we get, especially if it’s more than your friends.  

2. You need to buy 10 pair of the reading glasses and 3 of them must be the ugliest you can find!  

  The uglier the better! You won’t wear them outside the house for fear of someone seeing you wearing them. You will never lose them!

3. You need to learn how to play “Charades.”

    Have you ever watched old people having a conversation? It quickly turns into a guessing game. Example:

         “What is the name of the lady down the street?”

         “Which one, there are many?”

         “The one who had the dog, What is her name?”

         “I don’t know!”

         “Yes you do! It begins with a ‘K.’  Her son is a preacher!  You know……!”

               (some hand gestures’ at this point)

         “Does she drive a red car?”

        “Yes, that’s her! And last year she put up blue Christmas lights….What is her name?”

      Well, you get the idea.

 

4. Always keep an “Atomic Fire Ball” in your pocket.

   If you start crying for no reason at all (and you will) and some one sees you and is wondering what is wrong. You pull out the Atomic Fire Ball and ask them if they want one, great way to diffuse the attention.

 

5. Learn to laugh at yourself.  

    Spending 10 minutes looking for your car keys only to realize that you are holding them in your hand is not normal, but it is funny! So go ahead and laugh at yourself.

 

6, Memorize Proverbs 16:31.

     Maybe you should write it down and put it on your refrigerator, in case you forget!

  “Gray hair is a glorious crown; it is found in the way of righteousness (Proverbs 16:31). 

   Wear your crown with confidence!

 

THE POINT: Life changes us as we get older. The things we once valued are no longer important. There are some things we can no longer do and there are some things we never thought we would do.  But in an ever-changing world, God does not change! Nor should our love and fear for God ever change. Whatever your age, Proverbs 9:10-11 will always be true.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by Wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life (Proverbs 9:10-11).

 

Consider The Pismire

February 22, 2012

Welcome to “Wrinkled Wit.”

Why the name “Wrinkled Wit?”  Wrinkled wit could stand for a number of things and only time will tell for sure which of the following best describes this blog spot:

   The musing of an old man.

   The wisdom of experience.

   The Idea’s of a well-worn wrinkled Bible.

   Thoughts written on paper that were discarded, that should have remained in the trash.

   Wit that has stood the test of time.

   Wrinkled Witness Protection Program – allowing those with wrinkles to vent (I don’t mean passing gas)! 

Feel free to express your opinion or suggest other possible idea’s.

The purpose for this blog is to use the humor of everyday experiences to get you (the reader) to explore Biblical principles. Playful parabolic pondering with a purpose are similar to what Jesus did in the story of the one who helps another remove the speck in his eye, while having a beam sticking out of his own. It’s the humor that makes the principal stick in our minds. Although the purpose is clearly stated, I may divert from the purpose from time to time. Some would call this “rebellion” but I look at it this way, it’s my blog!

So let the journey begin! JOIN ME! And let us go to the pismire! (Prov. 6:6)

What is a “pismire?” It is an old English word for ant. The stench of formic acid that ants secrete smells like urine. (Who puts their nose to an ant hill and smells?) When you combine the wet looking ground of an ant hill and the smell of urine you have the word “pismire.”

   So gentlemen, when your out hunting and trying to conceal your presence by keeping your scent down but your bladder is full and you really need to urinate, find the nearest ant hill and let it go! Ahh… such relief and you haven’t jeopardized your hunt!

  But here is the problem. While you’re trying to conceal your presence, the amount of time it takes to empty your bladder is longer than the amount of time it  takes for hundreds of ants to crawl up your expensive boots and start biting your ankles. This is not good! Dancing and peeing at the same time will get messy!

  In an attempt to conceal your presence, you have successfully manage to urinate all over your boots, pants and gloves. If the smell doesn’t alert the deer, your dancing around like a Sasquatch who just won the lottery will.

The point: Trying to conceal sin in our life is like urinating on an ant hill full of angry ants. It will get messy!